Haiti

I've been having trouble getting to sleep lately. Having trouble turning my mind off.

Night before last I couldn't go to sleep until I could remember who had won the World Series in the last ten years. The night before that my mind wouldn't rest until I remembered who was Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen all four years of high school.

WHO. IS THAT. WEIRD?!?! I mean, c'mon!

I try to drown out the thoughts with TV but that doesn't seem to help.

I think my mind has been racing because I've been reading a lot lately. Thoughts are provoked. Values are challenged.

I read a book in two days this past weekend. TWO. DAYS. I know to some of you that may not seem like a big deal. Some of you read books in one sitting in one day. For me, that's never really been a reality. I get distracted and usually get sleepy after one chapter. Ask me how many books I actually finished on my summer reading lists in middle school and high school. I can probably count them on one (and maybe half a) hand.

I read Same Kind Of Different As Me this past weekend. And boy, if it didn't completely turn my world upside down.

And then this Haiti Earthquake thing now. I sat in bed last night watching Anderson Cooper (I don't care what you say, he is precious and I love him) report live from Haiti. And I cried. And cried.

And I know those were just more little steps in the plan that God has to completely destroy the life that I have now and for me to never find anything to be happy about ever again.

I hope you detected a large amount of sarcasm lathered over that last statement because I couldn't been more fueled and excited while also completely scared out of my wits about the transformation that God is doing in my heart right now. It's scary. And real. And fun.

I started asking my dad questions last night about the Haitian kids that he's encountered over the years that he's been in the Jackson Public School District. Not only has he had Haitian kids, he's had Somalians and Kenyans and Sudanese. And he's had to play bodyguard a few times as well. But that's enough about my dad (I could go on for days).

He told me about how the Catholic Charities get these kids from refugee camps, take them from having almost nothing and place them in a home where there are given more than they could have ever imagined. They don't know when their birthdays are so they are all basically given the same birthday. A 24-year old Sudanese kid could be given a birthday that states that he is 16, just so that he has the opportunity to get an education and play sports.

How heart breaking is it to not even know your real birthday.

I hear that and my heart breaks. I look at the TV and my heart breaks. I look around my apartment and feel guilty for what I have. I had a hamburger for lunch and it's not even settling right in my stomach because not so far in the back of my mind, I know the desperation there is almost 1400 miles away from me. And all I can do is send money.

I can't get on a plane and fly there. I can't go and lift up stones and bandage wounds and wipe tears away. I can't take a plate of food to that woman that is sitting on a pile of rubble. I can't hug that little boy tight who just watched four members of his family die and share with him the hurt that I would feel if my family had been ripped out from under me.

All I can do is just sit and ask God why it's happening.

I read last night the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. (Don't worry. I'm not going to get all Pat Roberston on you.) Abraham pleaded with God on behalf of those people. He knew their sin but he pleaded anyway. He said, "God, how can you, such a loving, compassionate God, look at a place like that and completely destroy it knowing that there might be righteous people there?" He pleaded and pleaded until God finally told him that if even there were a few righteous found, that he would spare the whole place.

Now we know that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed but God spared Lot, because he remembered Abraham's compassion.

There's your hope.

Not matter what happens, not matter how horrible this all looks, not matter how many people die, God's got good in it.

Yes. It's very heartbreaking that most of the people who died in this catastrophe died without ever hearing the gospel. But the fact is that God doesn't allow things to happen without a purpose. And He will make Himself known no matter what. God doesn't just destroy cities and cause bad things to happen because it's fun. It's not fun. He allowed his own son to die for you and me. I'm sure that was not fun at all.

But there was a purpose. The purpose of salvation. The purpose of allowing someone perfect to come in a take all of my imperfection on himself, look the devil in the face, and say, "YOU LOSE. THIS ONE IS MINE." All for the purpose of freeing me from my imperfection so that I can be free to live a perfect life in Jesus Christ. And the hope (undoubtful knowledge) that I will one day sit with Him in the place that he has prepared for me.

"The Lord gives, and the Lord takes. May the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21

Please join with me, and the rest of the world, in prayer for the Haitian people. Pray also for the rescue workers and people there working around the clock to supply aid. Pray those who are literally dragging people out of the rubble and pray for those they are rescuing. This is not an easy thing for any part involved.

Also if you would like to donate to aid, check out the following ways:

• Compassion International
• Worldvision
• American Red Cross
• Hope For Haiti
• Anyone with a mobile phone and an account with a major wireless carrier can text the phrase “Haiti” to the number 90999 and donate $10 to the Red Cross. Amount is charged to the donor’s cellphone bill.
• Wyclef Jean's Yele Haiti Fund
• Text "Yele" to 501501 to donate $5 to Yele Haiti.
• Samaritan's Purse

A Different Kind Of Different

I woke up this morning in a different place than I have for the past year. Same bed. Same alarm clock (boo!). But a different place.

This day was officially different.

This past weekend I moved. I moved up. Like the Jeffersons. "To a deluxe apartment in the sky." Well, not really deluxe. It's more like a "one-bedroom apartment in the sky." But really not even the sky. It's just up a big hill on the side of Shades Mountain. But ask my momma and she'll tell you I practically live on Mount Everest. Up the long and winding road.

So I woke up in a different place. And in a different way. I didn't immediately turn on the television and grab my iTouch and check Twitter like I ususally. Basically because I don't have cable and internet yet. But I woke up to a quiet place.

I then pulled out the handy-dandy Samford-issued AT&T Wireless internet air card, plugged it into my computer and dialed up K-Love. Because if there is one thing that the 'Ham is lacking is a quality (emphasis on the word quality) Christian music station. A.K.A K-Love.

This day was officially more different.

Then I went on about my business.

As I was getting ready, I thought, "Hmm, wouldn't it be great if the left turn signal at the bottom of the hill turned green right when I approached so I wouldn't have to sit for 45 minutes (slight exaggeration) to turn onto Lakeshore?"

And then guess what happened as I approached ye olde light. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Not 100 yards from the light, it turned green, making my trip to work, officially 3 minutes and 42 seconds.

And this day was officially more different than it was before.

Isn't God awesome? The way he shows himself by answering prayers you didn't even know you prayed?

I be-bopped into work with a smile on my face, basking in the greatness that God just showed me. I hadn't been there 15 minutes when my boss came in my office and said, "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" And then proceeded to close the door behind him.

Those aren't exactly words you want to here first thing in the morning. My first reaction was, "Humble pie? Don't mind if I do. What the heck have I done wrong now?"

But no wrong had been done on my part. It turns out that one of our men's basketball players, Jim Griffin, passed away in his sleep last night.

And this day was officially a different kind of different.

My heart sank. Although you could probably count how many conversations I've ever had with Jim on half of one hand, Jim was one of my favorite people. I guess you could say that I knew him vicariously, if that is even possible. I've heard so many stories from his coaches and my volleyball players, that I feel like I know him all too well.

Jim was the kind of player that you always wanted on your team, no matter what his talent level was. I would say that last year, his junior year, was his breakout year. Jim was the most fun to watch, not because he was a part of any amazing plays or because he could dunk over a 7'2" center or because he drained three-pointers from eight feet behind the arc.

Jim played with his heart. Moreso, he played with is soul. You hear people talk about "leaving it all out on the court". That's what Jim did. Every game. It didn't matter weather he played four minutes or 40 minutes. You knew that Jim was going to give you everything he had. And it was completely evident. Transparent.

I always joked about how Jim always looked like he was petrified and on the brink of death when he was on the floor. But that's how he played. You could literally see him go through the full range of emotions right there on the floor.

His friendships all over campus are a testimony to what kind of guy he was. Everyone knew him. And he was usually the life of the party.

My prayers go out to the Griffin family and all of his friends. My heart broke this morning for our student-athletes as reality started to set in. Almost six months ago, I lost a very good friend and I know how hard it is to understand how someone so young, who has his whole life in front of him, is here one day and gone the next.

However, what got me throught that time, and what I've tried to convey to my girls on the team and our student-workers here, is that we are not in control. No matter how bad we want to believe it and how mad it makes us feel, we are never in control. There is One True God, who is the Master and Maker of this universe, and he holds everything in the universe, and outside of it, in the palm of his hand. He makes the decision around these parts and we are merely the little colored squares in God's big ol' rubix cube. Except God already knows the solution.

But we must also understand that He does nothing without a purpose. And that purpose is bringing glory to His name. That may sound selfish to some, but the more I've studied His Word and the closer that has drawn me to him, the more I count it all joy when bad things like this come my way. (James 1) Why? Because I get to see Him work in a big way. My reaction has turned from feelings of helplessness and confusion, to feelings of peace and comfort because I know that there is One person that I can fully lean into and trust that He will support me when I'm weak.

And when I'm weak, y'all...that's when He shows off.

I don't know what's going on in the lives of those of you who are reading this, but know this: My God is the God that forgives. He's the God that saves. And He's the God that restores. And He can be your God too. He makes ALL things new. And one day we will all be made knew, those of us that confess Him as Lord and believe in Him as the God of salvation and restoration.

And right now, I believe that Jim's sporting a nice new body. One that isn't sore from workouts. Or tired from playing two hours of pick-up. And he's feasting on an everlasting buffet of Krispy Kremes and shrimp.

Please somebody tell me there are Krispy Kremes and shrimp.

Forgotten Thoughts

I had so many things I wanted to blog about today and they have all escaped my brain leaving me with absolutely nothing pertinent to post. It seems the past two days have taken a toll on me today and I am inexplicably exhausted.

Seriously, I am two shades away from taping my eyes open here at my desk. Or I might just close my door and take a nap.

Anywho.

Yesterday was an extremely hard day. Saying goodbye for forever to someone you've know your whole life is one of the hardest things a person ever has to do. And it's even harder when they had their whole life ahead of them. And I know, outside of his family, it was even harder on certain other people than me.

However, it was good to be with friends and see friends that you haven't seen in a while. A long while.

I saw many people that I looked up to when I was younger -- Jennifer Malone Crowe, Jennifer Hartzog, John Gordon, Lisa Curry and of course my three moms, Sherry Russum, Karen Stewart and Cheri Powell.

I saw people who used to say to me, "Wow, last time I saw you, you were this big." And found myself saying the same thing to their children, ahem, who are about to graduate from high school.

Oh. My. Word. I'm 25. And feel old. Not supposed to happen.

My sweet Stephanie Russum came up to me and said that she had 25 days left of high school and then we proceeded to talk about where she was going to college and what she was studying. And all I could think about was teaching her to swim and remembering when she was in first grade, sitting on my lap in the youth room, learning the ABC's of Christianity and memorizing the 10 Commandments.

I remember being at her house, with her brother, whom I used to have one of those, what do you call it? Oh relationships. Yeah. That. I remember being there, forgetting that he was there and playing with her and her friend Savannah.

I saw guys I used to hang out with, and laugh at their immature jokes, who are now husbands and fathers.

Have things really changed THAT much? Are we really THAT much older? Has time really flown by THAT fast?

Yep. I think so.

But in all of the changes, in all the grown up faces and new hair-dos and facial hair (on the boys, not the girls), I looked into eyes and saw the people I once new. Even the ones that I was really dreading seeing.

There are some amazing memories there. Some pretty hilarious memories there. Most of them involved toilet paper. And trees. And minivans. And my Dad acting like he'd fallen off a roof.

And I remembered things that I'd forgotten. And people I'd forgotten.

And God showed himself once again.

(So maybe I had something to blog about after all.)

I'll leave you with pictures of my nephew and the carousel ride I mentioned last week.

This was the smile he gave me when I told him to smile. Precious-ness.

Mommy And Cutie..."wrastlin'" on the bed

Praise The Lord For Faithful Servants

I don't know April Adams but I praise God for her and her husband. April just commented on my last post. This is what she said:

"I’ve been searching on the internet for the people in the accident you mention and came across you. I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I prayed last night that everyone would walk away from the terrible crash. My husband is Sgt. Dan Adams with the 20-2 Special Forces Support Group in Jackson, MS. We were driving north on 25 to our home in Starkville, MS yesterday when we saw the accident. My husband arrived before the ambulance and made a tunicate from clothing and a windshield wiper blade for your friend’s knee along with trying to sustain his blood loss."

April's husband is about to leave for active duty in Afghanistan. I can't help but drop to my knees and praise God for the way he works. He placed people all along the path to take care of my friend and only He could be that provident.

Thank you, April, for letting me know this. You and your husband were definitely answered prayers as I know that there were groans coming from that accident that only the Holy Spirit could intercede for. And I know there were many prayers sent up from cars traveling along Highway 25.

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

Can't Put Life In A Box

So many times, I roll on through life thinking nothing can get me. I am invincible. Car wrecks and heart attacks, suicides and homicides are just things that happen to other people. Never to me.

I tend to put life in a little box and expect it to never go out of the parameters of that shell.

Today, I realized (again) how wrong I am. How no one, especially I, can't tame what only God has control of. And y'all, God has complete control of life no matter how hard we try to think otherwise.

Today, I lost a really good friend. A great friend. Life-long friend. He died from injuries sustained from a car wreck in Carthage, Miss. There were two others with him -- a girl and a guy. The girl, who is from Columbus, is still in critical condition. The guy walked away from the incident. No one was wearing seat belts and all were thrown from the vehicle.

I can't tell you how many pieces my heart is in right now. I just don't understand. I'm in shock. I don't understand how someone can be here one minute, and the next they are gone.

But I tell you what I do understand. God is faithful. God is in control. God is bigger than all of this and he's working out some crazy plan that we all won't understand until we are all together in his kingdom one day. He has a purpose.

I've been studying Romans with my small group from church. This past week we were in Chapter 8. Paul says in verse 17 of this chapter, "Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."

There's a promise there. Did anybody else catch it? We get to share in HIS glory. That's some good stuff. So I've heard.

Bradley Gibson is a child of God. I know. I was there when it happened. This verse gives us such a hope for what is to come. Right now, Brad is experiencing that. He's is straight up in the midst of God's glory. And as sad as I am that he is still not with us hear on Earth, I'm so excited that he is up there enjoying his Lord.

We sang one of my favorite hymns in church today and I would have never known it would take such a different meaning just nine hours later.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
born of his Spirit, washed in his blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long;
this is my story, this is my song,
praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blessed,
watching and waiting, looking above,
filled with his goodness, lost in his love.

How great it is to know that there is nothing we can do to lose that!

Romans 8 offers up even more encouraging verses.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose...If God is for us, who can be against us...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."


Brad Gibson, you were a great friend. Like a brother. I will miss you. And your curly hair.

Father, please take care of the Gibsons right now. I don't even want to imagine how bad they are hurting right now. I praise you that they have such an incredible family of faith to surround them right now but I pray that you will minister to them in the other times, the dark, quiet times. The times when no one is there. Help them be there for each other, support each other and lift each other up.

I pray for the girl who was with them. Place your healing touch on her. However, if it is your will to take her with you, please be with her family and friends and help them know what a faithful God you are.

Be with the young man who was fortunate enough to walk away. I know he's asking some big questions right now and I pray that he will see you as you are revealing yourself to him right now. I pray that he will be ministered to in a way that only you receive the glory.

And Lord, I pray that you will help me remember what a fragile life this is. I pray that you will help me live my life as you would want me to. Use me to make a difference and follow your command to do that with reckless abandon.

Now to him who is able to do immesurably more than we can ask, all glory, honor and praise.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Untitled

Death has reared its ugly head again and I hope it's not true what they say -- these things come in threes because well, that's just no fun.

I just got word that a colleague, a girl whom I interacted with a number of times that I could only count on two hands collapsed and died at church last night. She passed out, and that's all I know. She was my age. Well, a year younger than me. 24. And I'm overcome with sadness right now. But I'm glorifying God because she is with Him.

I hardly knew the girl, however there was no question in my mind what she stood for. She was a child of God and with that, she's my sister in Christ.

We were Facebook friends, which of course you know makes us b-fries, right? When I heard the news of her passing, I immediately went to her Facebook page to get a last look at someone I hardly knew. And y'all, this girl left footprints all over this earth. Her profile is full of bible references and friends who loved her, people whom she made a lasting imprint on.

She died in church you guys, and as far as I'm concerned, that's about one of the best ways to go, right? You go out praising the Father on this earth He created and end up where you were meant to be all along, praising the Father for eternity. How awesome is that?!? Bye-bye world. Hello Jesus.

I'm sad that I didn't get to know her any better. She was a sweet girl and always took the time to speak to me when she saw me. She was sincere and it's crazy to know that someone can affect you without you even knowing it.

Praise God for people like that. God continues to show the ways he works and they are not all conceivable. However, they are good. God is good and to Him alone be the glory.

I pray for Heather's family and the people in her circle of influence. I know that she will be missed but I know that God has his hand in all of this and will continue to use her life to display His glory.

"We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Feelin' Funky

Ok, I am officially in a serious funk. Jesus, Lord, help me get out of it. Shine some sunshine in my life and help me realize that I am in a very good situation, considering, and that things could be much, much, much worse.

Self-pity is a BEE-otch. (Sorry, mom.)

There is something major going on I must address here.

I have to say that my heart hurt little when I heard the new of John Travolta's son's death. I don't know these people from Adam, but I have lost a family member unexpectedly and it is not something I would wish on my most hated enemy (of which I don't believe I have at all). The questions and confusion that comes along with it is both overwhelming and exhausting.

It is said that the 16-year-old died due to a seizure which was just one effect of Kawasaki disease, an illness that can lead to inflamed blood vessels, that the young man had suffered from since the age of two (can you tell I've done my homework? Just you wait.)

However, this is the part that struck me hard. Jett Travolta's mom, Kelly Preston has blamed household cleaners and fertilizers for the condition and said a detoxification program based on teachings from the Church of Scientology helped improve his health, according to People magazine.

(Follow the link to learn more about Scientology. It's Wikipedia. The end-all and be-all of modern research.)

I don't know a lot about Scientology, so I can't judge. What I can do it state my beliefs, the belief in one true God.

Wikipedia says Scientologists hold a common belief that psychiatry and psychology are destructive and abusive fields, which much be abolished.

I say leave well enough alone and to each his own. If psychiatry and psychology were destructive and abusive, then there are some very close friends that I should be worried about. I've seen friends over the years who were destructive and abusive themselves (or were involved in those types of relationships with family members or significant others) and psychiatry and psychology, along with a whole heap of prayer, were the ONLY thing that saved them.

From my point of very, these two methods of medicine (psychiatry and psychology) are very much a way of processing thoughts and feelings as well as figuring out what chemical effects of the body have on the brain and the nervous system. Don't quote me though. I was a broadcasting and PR major. I can't quote the periodic table, but beware of my editor's eye and strong need to correct news, sports and pop culture facts. But I digress.

Anyway, my point is, I'm going to prayer very hard for the Travolta family. First, for their loss because that is extremely hard. But more importantly for their immense need to see God work in their lives. I pray that God will show himself as ruler of the universe, healer and destroyer of all things evil and maybe even most importantly, a loving, forgiving, protective, passionate, can-live-without-us-but-doesn't-want-to God who pursues a deep and meaningful relationship with us all and chose us to be his before we were even one atom.

There may not be undisputable/irrefutable evidence (as they say in the NCAA and NFL rulebook) for the existance of one supreme being, but I've got evidence in my life that I am loved without a doubt by something bigger and more powerful that I could ever imagine being.

And you know what they say.

Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.

The Peace That Passes All Understanding

Today was a pretty sucky day. I woke up for work with the same headache that I had since about 10 a.m. yesterday but it had morphed into a migraine overnight. I woke up tried to start getting ready for work but it turns out I, personally, need two good eyes to do some things and sharp pains in the side of my head prevented me from doing much this morning, namely seeing out of my right eye. I took some medicine, called in sick to work, and went back to sleep.

About an hour later, I moved to the couch because our neighbors had decided they wanted their roof redone after seeing what a great job our "hombres" did on our roof. Let me tell you, it's not easy to sleep when guys are on top of your roofing banging on things, and it's still not easy when its going on next door.

I slept until about 1 p.m., woke up and decided that maybe if I tried to eat, I would feel a little better. I now had sight back in my right eye and the migraine had been down-graded to a major headache. (I think I'm going to start my own headache scale, you know, like the hurrican scale.) Anyway, by the time I started eating, Kel had come home from work and informed me that one of our friend's brother had chosen to take his life on Thursday night and that the funeral was in Pelham at 4 p.m.

Suddenly I didn't care about my headache anymore, I just knew that I had to get to that funeral. This was one of the first friends I made when I moved to Birmingham and she did so much to include me and invite me to do things and introduce me to people, when she really didn't have to. My heart hurt for her. Her brother was only 31 and left behind a wife and a seven-month-old son. But the hope in this situation is that we know that he is face-t0-face with our Lord now.

Some may ask, "Is it possible for a person, namely a follower of Christ, to still go to heaven even when they take their own life?"

My answer is a resounding "yes". I didn't know this young man personally but I heard enough stories today to know that he loved the Lord with all his heart, took his calling to be a disciple-maker seriously, surrounded himself with the best of people, and was a great father, husband, son, brother and friend.

The one point that was reiterated at that funeral today was that God's grace is big enough to cover anything. This young man sinned against his God, his family and his friends. He took his own life when when it wasn't his decision to make, but the great thing is that his sin was not bigger than God or his merciful grace. He was covered by God's grace the day that he became a Christian, walked with the Lord everyday of his life, and in a time of spiritual crisis, he took things into his own hands. However, God is a God of second chances. He's a compassionate and forgiving and I don't think one person in that room today had a doubt about where this young man was today or what he was doing.

There were a lot of emotions running through my head and heart today. (Warning: I'm about to spill my guts here.) I felt complete heartbreak from my friend and her family but at the same time, I kept thanking God that he gave second chances. In the past year, I was affected by a similar situation but with a much better outcome. Since then, I've looked at life and God from a different perspective. Like I said, God is a God of second chances but I've also realized my God as protecter of his children, renewer of all things, and a God whose peace passes all understanding. In this certain instance, I was surprised at how peaceful I was considering that my world had pretty much come to a screeching hault. But with every thought and every prayer, I found myself handing it all over to my Lord. I trusted in his faithfulness and everything seemed to take care of itself.

Please be in prayer for my family as they work through their grief and head down the long road of healing, weaving through confusion, resentment and forgiveness. Also be in prayer for those people around the world who struggle with the same inadequecies, both those of faith and those not of faith. Pray that they will realize that there is a God out there who catches us when we fall and holds us close and carries us home. And then we can proclaim like the great hymn says, "No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, can ever plunk me from his hand; 'Til he returns or calls me home, here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand."

"Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death." Psalm 68:1-2

On a lighter note...

Chuck's back! I've been looking forward to this day for like the last four months, since I saw the first commercial advertising the season premiere. Chuck is just as cute and funny as ever. And Morgan got a haircut and must have gone on a diet. I feel bad for Chuck because the dude cannot feasibly have a real life. He and Sara cannot have a real relationship with the CIA butting in. Sometimes I wish all his flashes would go away but then there would be no Chuck to enjoy on Monday nights. Oh, well.

Oh, and I'm so glad Heroes is back too, but Hayden Panettiere does not make a good villain. Stop making it try to happen. It's not going to end pretty.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day...

I blogged about this a couple of months ago I think but I can't help but blog about it again. Death has yet again reared its ugly head. Not for me personally, but for a few people in my circle. I don't know if I just become more aware of it as I get older if it really is coming faster and faster now.

A few days ago one of our football players, who also plays baseball, lost his mother and his grandmother in the same day. That's tough. He's a two-sport athlete about to start his junior year of college, and he's hit with this. That's hard. I pray for his strength through this and that he sees the glorious handprints of God as he walks this hard road. Praise God that he has coaches and friends that will pray for him and with him and just speak truth into this situation.

Also our head athletic trainer's brother is battling cancer and has been on the brink of death for the past couple of days. It's heart-breaking watching a family member being eaten away by cancer and knowing that there is nothing you can do about it...except pray. I pray for peace for the family, knowing that most of them have been preparing for this stage for a while and glorifying God that he will soon be completely whole and untouchable by any sickness.

We have to just thank God that everything we face, even death, has been conquered by Christ and we can know that if we have accepted the amazing grace of God and believe in what he has done for us and confess that Christ is Lord of our lives and build that relationship with him, that our fate is sealed and we have eternal glory in heaven awaiting us.

Death is a bittersweet thing for me. I often miss those I've lost, but I'm quickly reassured of where they are and who they are with and I'm instantly jealous and become homesick for heaven. It only spurs me on to listen intently to God revealing his plan for my life and strive daily to be the person he wants me to be and to do the things he wants me to do, especially making disciples of all nations.

I think that is why I've become restless with my job. I'm not seeing the potential that I have right in front of my face. I pray that I will focus on what God has in store for me right here in Birmingham and then have a willing heart to do what he wants me to do.

"We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10