"I love ya long, and ya know I'm gonna love ya strong"

A couple, two, three things:

1. The Malcolm X glasses

2. "Stay your behinds at home!"

3. "A glow. in. the. dark. body paint party...Do not send me an invitational to something until Easter."

4. The MLK Rant. It's BRILLIANCE.

5. "We done boycotted the school buses for a week. That enough Rosa Parks."

6. "I need to get to the church house on Sunday. I need to hear the good Bishop and the good Word."

I want to be this lady's friend. If anyone in the ATL area is reading this, and you know this woman, hook a sista up.

Hello, Wake Up Call? How Are You Today?

Thanks to Annieblogs for sharing this. With everything that I've been mulling over in my brain for the last month (post about that will come one of these days), this video is a huge wake up call for me, albeit funny as well. It doesn't matter how big of a show you put on if the sincere TRUTH is not coming out of your mouth in the name of Jesus.

My Favorite Things About This Week's SNL

So, if you didn't know, Betty White hosted this week's Saturday Night Live.

I don't get to watch SNL too often but when I heard she was hosting (and that Jay-Z was the musical guest), I set my DVR. Because who doesn't like a little Betty White and Jay-Z. It's like Christmas morning, folks.

Plus, some SNL greats came back to help Mrs. White in the skits - Amy Poelher, Tina Fey, Mia Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer.

So, without further ado, here's a little list I like to call "My Favorite Thing's About This Week's SNL":

1. How cute Betty White is. She kind of reminds me of my Dearmom, except for the occasional crudeness. My Dearmom would have never said the word "lesbian" in public, much less on national televsion.

2. Jay-Z's first performance. It was like a medley of my favorites.

3. Sally O'Malley on Weekend Update. If you've never seen Sally O'Malley, please watch this.

And this.

4. "Really? With Seth and Amy." It's like what goes through my head about 83 times a day.

Laugh Hard

Thanks to Dave Barnes for passing this along on Twitter. No shame with the hearty laughter in my office today.

Call Me An Overachiever

So three posts in a day. Do you think this makes up for my NaBloPoMo slackerness?

These are just a few things that I couldn't help but share with you.

1. This post at NCAA Fanhouse had me crying from laughing so hard. I really do hope Mike Slive reads this.

2. Scare fail.

And last but not least...

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district. Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Improv Everywhere Does It Again

Here's your second post of the day.

Improv Everywhere just never disappoints.

My favorite lines from the video:

"Jeff, don't sing a song man."

"He does this every day."

Tweet of the Day

Overheard Lines

Today was a sad day. My nine-dollar sunglasses from NY&Co. broke and I had to throw them away. They were in no way fixable without a) my dad being here to fix them for me and b) without being able to visibly see that they had once been broke before.

So I went to Walmart after work to by some cheap-o's to get me by until I can find a more permanent replacement.

As I was browsing the sunglasses, trying to find a pair that didn't cover my whole face or that were at least dark enough that my retinas would still be in tact when I looked directly into the sunlight (because I also look directly in the sunlight), I overhead this conversation.

Redneck #1: Welp, I guess that don't have 'em.

Redneck #2: Have wut?

Redneck #1: Ankle bracelets!!!

Um, excuse me? Maybe because those went out of style in like 1996! Really people.

I'm finding more and more evidence that I in fact really do like in Alabamar. (That is not a typo.)

Talking Donkeys

If you think the Old Testament is boring and just full of irrelevant facts, just go with me here.

I've never seen my pastor almost pass out from laughing so hard until this Sunday. We were studying Hebrews 1: 1-4 and one of the points was how God uses many different avenues to speak to his people. Today, he mostly uses Christ and the body of Christ. Back in the day, he used burning bushes and talking donkeys.

Then he took us to Numbers 22:21-31 which says:

²¹ Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. ²² But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. ²³ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road.

²⁴ Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. ²⁵ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again.

²⁶ Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. ²⁷ When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. ²⁸ Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?"

²⁹ Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now."

³⁰ The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," he said.

³¹ Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.

If you didn't find the hilarity in that, please click here and see how my pastor interprets it.

Let it load and then go about one-fifth through the video. He starts talking about Numbers. And then he loses it.

Great stuff.