Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Let's Just Get Something Straight

Oh you Bachelor producers, our relationship from this point forward is indefinitely put on hold. (At least until next season. Or until Melissa is the next Bachelorette.)

What the heck did you think you were doing displaying such madness on national television? You should be ashamed of yourselves. (But I understand there is money to be earned.)

My advice to America: Stay away from all human beings with the moniker Jason. Nothing but bad news bears lies ahead. Trust me.

Poor, poor Melissa, what embarrassment she has to be feeling right now. However, when that girl stepped out onto that set, I knew things were about to, as my senior AP English teacher Mr. Avalon would say, "go to hell in a hand basket." Melissa, as we have learned is not one to hide her feelings and what she was feeling was written all over her face.

If I were her friend (and Melissa, if you are reading, I think we would be great bfries), I probably not take the high road, go all What Happens In Vegas on Mr. Jason, and go to his door, kick him and when he is rolling around on the floor, crying in agony, asking "Why, God, why," I'll have three little words for him, "You know why!"

On to 24...Nothing in this world could take my love for Jack Bauer away unless he were to do something incredibly unspoken and surprising, but my word, people! What the heck is going on with all the White House break-ins and shooting of the guns IN THE WHITE HOUSE?!?! And the secret service just backing away like that?!?! What kind of international powerhouse are we? Where are all of the soldiers that are supposed to be standing guard every three inches?? Good grief!

And on to the political/economic rant...which will be short. Can somebody please explain to me why all of these people who have done bad things with all of our money are still living in their 20 billion dollar penthouses and driving fancy schmancy cars? Not only should they be locked up, every bit of their possessions, whether connected to the money or not, should be taken from them and liquidated, and the money should be used for these so-called "bailouts" instead of the government just creating this money out of nowhere. Can we let these idiots live life like the people that they have affected with their stupidity for once? Let someone else suffer for a bit?

It's just a suggestion.


  1. I agree about 24!
    Previous years this has been a very thought out series of events put together to hold me to the tube, but this year, PLEASE! getting into the WHite House by SCUBAing underneath some part or place and .... to far out there.

    Realism of a nuclear bomb or chemical agent, ok but this is way way out there. Maybe that guy on "The Twilight Zone" might come up with this fictionistic stuff after smoking "rabit tobacco" but ...

    I'm very disapointed.

  2. I actually wrote a letter to President Obama airing my grievances. I'll let you know if he responds, haha.

    And Jason is a D-Bag. "I just had to follow my heart!" That is the lamest thing I've ever heard- it makes him sound like a wimp.