More Random Musings

Why is it that I'm so surprised to see people I knew why back when "lovin' the Lord with all their heart" these days? I mean, it's obviously not who they were way back when, but why does it surprise me? I'm not who I was way back when. And praise the Lord, a change has a-come.

Lord, rid me of my soapbox.

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My OCD has official gone up about 20 levels, according to the outer-body experience I had last night.

See, I do things a little differently, which makes people think I'm a smidge obsessive-compulsive.

Things must go back where you found them. The rule applies to everyone, except for me on occassion. But I try to lead by example.

The kitchen must be semi-clean before I can sleep soundly.

I eat skittles by the color. The color groups have to be even numbers. I separate the odds out into a separate pile and begin eating those two-by-two (symmetry is crucial to the consumption of Skittles). (What happens when you have an odd number of odds, you ask? Why, I halv-sies the last one, of course.) Then I start with either my least favorite color or the group with the least Skittles (depending on my mood) and make my way through the groups, two-by-two mind you, until all Skittles have been consumed.

Same goes for M&Ms.

I eat Peeps by body part.

I have to have no unread emails or items in Google Reader before I can leave my desk. And furthermore, I have to have no unread emails period when I'm at my desk. Otherwise, the little Miscrosoft Outlook envelope at the bottom of the screen taunts me.

But last night, I realized that I've hit a new low.

For 20 minutes straight, I hovered over my body watching myself sit in the bathroom floor, lint brush in hand, de-linting the rug. Although, the rug is my roommate's and she decided to wash it, I always take it upon myself to conquer the de-linting process. The roommate? She cares not.

I've done this three or four times before but I've never actually realized how ridiculous this actually was. I would roll the lint brush over the rug and then pick at each square until I was satisfied with the lint-to-rug square ratio.

In case you are still confused as to what the problem is, let me clarify:

THIS! IS! BANANAS!

(Apparently, I've watched too much Rachel Zoe Project.)

Don't be surprised when my next post is about how the new psychiatrist I'm seeing says that there's a connection between my lint obsession and the reason I collected wallpaper samples on our Sunday afternoon trips to Sears when I was little.

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My friend Kumar just texted me and said he just met and shook hands with Julia Stiles on the streets of NYC while he was leading a group to their mission. Forgive me, Lord, for jealous abounds in my heart.

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And this one is serious. I've talked about this before but it's become apparent to me in the last few weeks that I can't just kick it around like a soccer ball, playing with the idea of it. I've got to actually take some steps toward this goal if I want to actually do it.

I think I've reached the point that God's is now yelling at me that this is what I need to do and I don't so much like the "yell-y God voice." I like the nicer one better.

I need you guys to pray with me about my deep desire to do something bigger with my life. I talked last night with a friend who is going through the same thing, and we both agreed that we are at the crossroads where we know what we want to do but we don't exactly know how to get there. I'm in a little bit of a better spot than he is because I actually have a steady income and he doesn't but we both feel like our calling is bigger than what we are doing right now, but we aren't sure what steps we are supposed to take.

I was asked today if I could do anything in the world and get paid the same as I am getting paid now, what would it be? And my instant answer was to be working for, or ultimately running my own charity/ministry. I would also love to just be able to write for a small newspaper or magazine - personal interest stories or whatever. But I'm not sure where or how to start either of those.

So, I need you all to pray with me about the opportunities that God has out there for me. Pray with me that I will be sensative to those opportunities and not just push them off to the side when they come to me.

I struggle with the idea of not giving my all to something I'm committed to. I struggle with the fact that something may come up in the height of my job that I have now that may distract me from doing my best. And I struggle with knowing whether that is God's will or temptation trying to get the best of me.

Pray that I will trust God wholeheartedly to lead me in His way and to discern for me what is true and what is right.

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And lastly, to end on a much lighter note, I'm taking this from Bryan Allain and I want YOU to answer a few questions. Given that I know about eight people read this blog, half of them being my family, I want to know a little more about you. Feel free to be honest, funny and clever. So, without further ado...

1. If I could do anything else for a living and make the $$ I make now I would be __________.
2. If I could remove one tv channel from existence it would be ________.
3. If I had to move more than 500 miles away, I’d move to _________ because _________.
4. When I think of Wal-Mart I think of ___________.
5. The one place on earth I’d like to visit before I die is __________.

Like Bryan did, I'll go first in the comments.