My morning routine changes from day to day because I don't really have a set time that I have to be at work. I usually try to be there by 9 a.m. on a usual day, 8 or 8:30 on a day that I may have an early meeting or need to leave early, and 10 on a day that I just really don't give a flying fart because I've been there every other day of the week including Saturday and Sunday.
(For being a Baptist college, Samford doesn't really adhere to the whole "Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy." At least where athletics is concerned. But I digress.)
But one constant is GMA (Good Morning America) and LIVE with Regis and Kelly. If I'm not watching them at home, I'm watching them on my office TV.
Now, up until my college years, as far back as I can remember, I was a TODAY Show girl. I watched the first 15 or 20 minutes in the morning with my dad before school every morning as we ate breakfast. Of course, that was after George of the Jungle or The Flintstones or Gilligan's Island was over.
But it never failed that at 7 a.m. on the dot, we'd flip to channel two and there it would be, The Today Show. With Bryant Gumbal...and Katie Couric. And then it was...with Katie Couric...and Matt Lauer. (Imagine me saying this in my TV announcer voice. And then point and laugh.)
I'm serious. I was hooked. Katie Couric is the reason I wanted to go into broadcasting. (Not to be confused with that fact that Robin Roberts was the reason that I wanted to be in sports. But that's another tale.)
My dad used to tell people I was going to be the next Katie Couric. And I swore I would. But then life took me on another road. I'm fickle like that, I guess.
Anyway, TODAY was my thing. I watched the Towers fall with Matt and Katie. I even studied their every move during that time. It was crucial. If I was going to be a serious anchorwoman, I needed to know stuff like when something tragic happens to your country and you are wearing pink or yellow, you immediately go change into something grey or black at the next commercial break. That's a serious fact.
But then I moved to the KD house. My NBC was horrid. Squiggly lines, snow, blackouts. It was the cable, not the station. I'm sure of it. So I started watching GMA. No big deal. Just a temporary substitution. I was determined not to get attached.
And then Katie got a colonoscopy on national television. An event which started the crossing of an invisible line of television ridiculousness that should've never even been approached. And there was no looking back.
I mean seriously, Katie left and and they added Kathie Lee. Why don't they just ask people to never watch the show again?
Anyway, my point to this whole post is that I watched TODAY this morning. Only because Flo Rida was on. He was the musical act on today's Toyata Concert Series.
I began over at ABC watching GMA. Their musical guest was Kenny Chesney. And since Kenny was my first-ever country music concert experience, I figured I should pay my respects and give the brother a listen, instead of changing the channel like I usually would. Except, I've heard the song he was singing over and over and over again. And really, when it comes to country music, I've got to take it in stride, people. It can get a little overwhelming.
So halfway through the song, I flipped to TODAY. Just to see what was on. And there he was. Flo Rida in all his original name-creating glory (he's from Florida, people), singing 'Right Round.
And this is where I have to hand it to the country fans once again because they were somewhat subdued compared to what I saw on TODAY. Both crowds looked similar in size and demographic (the demographic part being nonexistent because I guess when you give people the chance to be on national television and then add in a major celebrity, they come out of the woodworks, y'all).
However, I was appalled by some of the stuff that I saw. And none of it had to do with Flo Rida or TODAY and had everything to do with the manner in which people absolutely CANNOT control themselves when they are given the chance to make a cameo on national television.
Oh, hello, 48-year old woman dancing like a 17-year old high school student and dressed like a 21-year old who just bought her first alcoholic beverage legally (without the use of her fake ID).
"What's that you say? You're going to put me, a scantily clad 48-year old on the FRONT ROW?!?! So that the whole nation can see me and wonder why? why? why? Okie-dokie. As long as I get to touch Flo Rida and dance inappropriately in front of him on national television. You got it."
And then they panned over to the 5-year old boy who was getting his groove on. At this I was impressed. And the senior citizen with the orange mounty hat. I. had. no. words. (Except when I told myself that that woman could very well be my mom in 30 years.)
Then they showed the TODAY Show talent rocking out. The young girl who definitely knew she could dance yet was modest about it. Matt Lauer tapping his toe. The other guy boucing up and down. And then this Hoda woman. Kathie Lee's sidekick. Dancing and singing along like the apocolypse was tomorrow.
I just have no words. Except obviously I do.
But there are no more.
So let's play a game.
I've embeded the video and the first person who correctly points out all of the weird and inappropriate things in this video gets a special prize from me. (Hint: There is no correct answer and there is no prize.)