Waking The Dead

Y'all, waking up for me in the morning is getting worse and worse by the day.

I remember when I was younger, my mom would spend countless minutes trying to get me to wake up in the morning. When she finally found something to threaten me with ("No Gameboy for a week if you don't get out of bed right now, Missy!"), I'd drag my hiney out of the bed and go eat breakfast.

BUT, as soon as I was done eating I would go curl up on the floor in my room, or on my completely made up bed, and "nap" for about 10-15 more minutes.

And I would always get in trouble for it.

I wouldn't really say that I was a trouble-maker by any means, except for my relentless hatred of getting up in the morning.

People keep telling me that I will grow out of it. Someone once told me that once you hit 25, you will never sleep past 7 or 8 a.m. no matter what time you go to sleep the night before.

Well, folks, I'm 25. And, no kidding, I could sleep for 12 hours straight, no matter what time I went to sleep the night before.

Lately, it seems as though my body has decided to revolt against me and go into a comatose state at night, causing me to snooze for an hour and half every morning, all the while cursing myself when I wake up two hours later than I had planned.

I use two (count 'em, two) alarm clocks. They are both set for an hour before I am supposed to wake up. Yet, I snooze. I snooze for TWO HOURS!

(At this point, I want to apologize to anyone who has ever had to share a room, wall, apartment or house with me because I know and have always known how annoying this is. It is a disease. I need help.)

It's like an outer-body experience. I know that I'm doing it, yet I don't.

I feel kind of like the Apostle Paul right now. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

And I do. I hate this thing about me, but no matter how hard I try, and how hard a pray, and whatever, my body refuses to wake up earlier than 8 a.m. It's ludicrous.

Ludacris. He's actually appeared in some of my dreams.

Oh, Hollie says "Hi."

Everyone together, "Hi Hollie."