I"m too tired to even attempt a title for this post

(Disclaimer: This disclaimer was written at 2:45 a.m. after realizing that I wish I had the last five hours of my life back. This post started as one thing at 7 p.m. and slowly became something else at 2:45 a.m. Please forgive me.)

You know, after last night's recap of the American Idol finale, I had to follow up tonight with the results show. Because I have a good feeling. And this is going to be interesting. I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants and type out my thoughts on the show as I watch. This could (will) prove to be a "hot mess", as one of my high school friends used to say. But at least you get a glimpse inside what is my A.D.D. ridden mind. So...

Here we go...

(What is with the white clothing?)

Randy looks like one-fourth of a barbershop quartet.

I never really realized how big a vocabulary Paula had, but it still holds true that she really has no idea what she is talking about AND has an innate ability to make up words on the spot. I admire that, as a fellow word maker-uper. See?

(Hello, American Idol tech people, can we get it together? The microphone business is distracting.)

(And who the heck is the Cindy Crawford wanna-be in Arkansas?)

(Carly Smithson! Love. Her.)

I can't tell you how much it excites me to see Jasmine back up there on that stage. Or how happy it makes me to watch Scott dance. It just makes me smile. 

(I never realized how much Justin Guarini and Corbin Blue look alike. Seriously, it's uncanny.)

Awards? Really? Just tell us who won. Or let us just see David Cook again. That song completely broke my heart for him. What a tough thing to do but what a way to honor his brother. 

Queen Latifa. A onesie? Really? I love you.  But really? 

Okay, Casey, don't hate me but I just loved the performance by COUNTRY artist Keith Urban and Kris Allen. Loved it. 

Bikini girl, get off my television with your fake boobs!

Danny Gokey! Ok, I'm not really a Lionel Richey fan but I love love loved this performance. Probably because Danny was performing with him. Oh, my and Reuben. Oh, Reuben. I had high hopes for you. 

For the love of all that breathes, what the heckfire is Adam Lambert wearing?!?! And he's singing "Beth". 

KISS totally scares but I get sucked into their performances because they are totally just out there. But, I've got to admit. Adam totally fits in. You know, with the tongue and makeup and all. 

My goodness. All the fire. And oh. my. word. I just saw the shoes. 

Dear Jesus help me. I just saw a Harry Potter trailer. It looks good.

I love Santana. And Matt Giraud. (Matt, will you marry me?) And I love the song "Smooth".

Megan Joy. I mute you.

Oh, Tatiana. This show wouldn't be complete without you. 

(This is when I leave my house to go spend five hours at Regions Park watching two teams play baseball whom I care nothing about -- Alabama and South Carolina. I went because I wanted to go watch college baseball. I would've got to see LSU play earlier but my seat buddy bailed on me and I was not about to go hang out with a bunch of Cajuns by myself. Although, I love Cajuns. All of them. Anyway, Hollie asked me to go so I went. I went it as a neutral party, and after I was de-friended for about 20 minutes by Hollie for saying "get over the wall ball" when I South Carolina player hit an amazing home run take the lead, I quickly shut my mouth again. Around the 1 a.m. mark, I basically started cheering for whoever was on the field, and whoever was the cutest. Because y'all, 11 innings later and four hours of my life wasted away, Alabama lost, 9-5 and it's 2:41 a.m. and I'm just now getting back home. No fear though. My trusty friends informed me by flooding my inbox with text messages with the news that Kris with a K won the American Idol crown. Praise Jesus. Let's go to sleep.)

Amen.