Today, I took an ambitious leap in my physical fitness.
Let's start with the facts:
1. I am dog-sitting for former neighbors. Yellow lab named Spalding. Sports fans? Yes.
2. The house is across the street from the house that I used to live it in Windsor Boulevard (not really a boulevard, but whatevs.)
3. Windsor Boulevard is approximately 2.5 miles away from the house that I now live in on Woodvale Lane (technically, it actually is a lane).
Around 5 p.m. today, my brain literally detached from my body and told my body that it would by "good fun" to run (ahem...slash walk) over to feed Spalding rather than drive over. I mean it's a two-minute drive for crying out loud. How bad could it be? Plus, Mom is about ready to strangle me if I don't start exercising again.
So, I laced up the Nikes and made sure the iPod was updated and set out on my 2.5 mile adventure. My only fear was that I would get stuck in the rain. Luckily, the rain held off until I made it back safely inside my house.
I headed out of the house around 5:30 p.m. and I began my journey.
But not without the motivation of Justin Timberlake and Sir Mix-a-lot.
Because y'all, when JT is telling you that you are bringing sexy back for four minutes straight, you start to believe it. Because when you are sweating like a beast, you need that kind of encouragement.
And Sir Mix-a-lot? All that talk about big butts is motivation enough.
The first mountain to climb was crossing Greensprings "Highway" which is a main thoroughfare where we are here in this little nook of Birmingham. It flows straight into UAB's University Drive and runs parallel to Interstate 65. Spalding's house is in a neighborhood on the other side of this busy street.
About halfway through, I was ready to give up and pass out on the side of the street (seriously, I'm THAT out of shape). Then, just as God opened the sky and blessed His son, He made it so Dave Barnes started playing on my iPod and I immediately got an extra pep in my step. Somehow, Dave singing "Miles To Go" was just enough motivation I needed to get up that monster of a hill. And then Breaking Benjamin's "Dance With The Devil" came on, and I really felt like I was um, dancing with the devil. (Ok, enough puns.)
I made it to Spalding's house and instead of jumping up and showing how happy he was to see me like he usually does, he completely avoided me. I don't know whatever it could have been. (Um, probably that I smelled like Samford's football locker room.)
So after about 15 minutes of rest, I headed back out and made my way back. I thought the walk -- ahem, I mean run, cough, cough -- would be the worst part. I mean, there are some wicked hills on the way back. However, I underestimated myself and the way back seemed to go by quicker than the journey there had been.
I did have the help of T-Pain, Chris Brown, Ice Cube and of course Justin Timberlake and Dave Barnes.
On the home stretch, I had to cross a bridge to get back to Greensprings. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that I stood there for a good three minutes contemplating whether or not to throw myself over the side into the water. It just looked so cold and refreshing. But I refrained.
An hour and a half later, I made it back to Woodvale Lane in one piece after crossing Greensprings without getting hit. So I celebrated like only I knew how. I turned on Akon's "I'm So Paid. Only Hollie will get this because only she knows that what this song represents is motivation enough to work out every. single. day.
And then I did Soulja Boy's Crank That dance.
Now, I have got to go figure out what that awful smell is in this house. I can't imagine what it could be.