Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Thought Provoking Questions (maybe I'll try to answer a few)

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? (My guess is Adam?)

2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horribly crisp which no decent human being would eat?

3. Why is there a light in the fridge a nd not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat?

7. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

8. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? (Because watching up undress is not in their job description?)

9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

10. What do you call male ballerinas? (ballerinos?)

11. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? (This is a stupid question and a little discriminatory!)

12. Why ARE Trix only for kids?

13. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just but dinner?

14. Why is a person that handles your money called a "Broker'?

15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (testicle?)

16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (babies?)

17. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? (Probably!)

18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

19. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

20. Is Disney World the only people-trap operated by a mouse?

21. Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

22. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? (Again, a little discriminatory!)

23. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid whne it's in your behind?

24. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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